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Covered in BEES!!!!!!!

...Well Yellow jackets actually. It's been a weird weekend. 

Friday night I came home from bartending and first off, Raye had cut the fuck out of her hand on a broken glass while doing dishes. I don't know how she does it but the girl and glassware just don't mix. I'm fine with taking the sole responsibility of doing dishes to a) keep her from harm and 2) have at least one of my glasses left when we part ways. Anywhoo so Christine came over and had cocktails with us and we were out on the deck, smoking a cigarette enjoying the summer evening when a yellow jacket started flying around. Christine yelled and squeeled then the were two then out of fucking nowhere there were hundreds of them all around us. We screamed, ran in the house (with our cigarettes, my freshly poured full drink was abandoned and we got safely inside. However two of the little bastards followed us in and one of 'em got Raye in the neck/back. So between Ray being gimpy and Christine being terrified it was my duty to kill the two intruders. Luckily we had hornet and wasp killer and I took the two little fuckers down. it was quite satisfying, actually. Outside, the swarm was still out there, hundresds uf them all over the light and the glass sliding door. It was terrifying. Sudenly our Friday night we were prisioners in our own apartment, we couldn't go out to smoke we couldn't even open a window to cool down the apartment. The bugs had taken over and they were pissed. We went to Picoras and met up with Cathy and her sister and had a drink but when we left they were done and went home to bed. We continued drinking in and we had cigarettes on a picnic table by the old folks home across the alley. 

Eventually after enough liquid courage we poked our arm out the slide door and drenched the deck with the killer spray (that thing is like a fire hose serioulsy!). Stupidly, perhpas drunkenly, we went out for a smoke on the deck about fourtyfive minutes later and the fuckers launched airial assult and swarmed all around us AGAIN! Raye got stung again and suddenly there were just as many out there as there was the first time.  We figured that the hive was somewhere under the deck. So we decided to write our downstairs neighbor, Joe to let him know. I managed to write a page long letter saying basicially  "look out, wasps! please call us about it" but in a very polite manoor [to be read in a posh Brittish accent] "Terribly sorry to bother you but if you wouldn't mind of course, time permitting, checking for the hive we would greatly appreciate it" Actually it was more funny than that I wish I still had the letter. I actully got to write the sentence P.S. sorry about that the screaming but we were covered in WASPS!" 

Saturday morning Raye counted 47 dead carcuses on the deck from our counter attack. FORTY SEVEN! and that's only the ones she could see from inside! We talked to Joe and we found where the nest was, there's a big hole IN our deck that they have settled into. Joe called the landlord, Curtis, and Raye did as well. Now Curtis is not terribly on top of thengs. He doesn't want to put too much effot into our cappy cheap little apartment building. We had that leak in our ceiling for a month before it was completely fixed. However he was at our door two hours after we called him. Still a frugal guy he decided to take care of hit himself with three cans of the spray. The last things those buggers expected was a little Korean man in a hoodie blasting toxic chemicals at them. It wasn't enough, however. They're still there. He was supposed to come back today to spray again, kill the queen and boarder up the hole. He hadn't showed up when i left the house but I would be super happy if I return home and am able to to smoke in my pjs again. I don't like being trapped in a hot, suffy aparment in the summer time. Christine and Ryan are good sports for hangin' out with us that night at our place, that's for sure. Good friends. :)

Anyway at the rent's now, watching The Mighty Boosh on YouTube (writing this while i wait for the videos to load). Damnit why can't we get these things this side of the pond! I am addicted to discovering new brittish comedy. Addicted, I tells ya. But at least I aint covered in bees!!! (well yellow jackets)


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