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Pulled a hamstring on my walk home from volunteering last night. Lame, and unplesant. No gym today. At coffee shop before it's time to set up shop for bartending at the theatre.

Shit, man! Every morning is starting out depressing and I think it's partially me and partially NPR's faut. Every morning it's "the economy sucks" and it just makes me feel stuck. I just count my blessing about my job security and feel like I shouldn't try to venture eslewhere...or even go on holiday to UK, just sit on any bit of money I can get. I know it's not that bad, but it feels like it. Maybe it's the emotional comoe down or hangover after the Barack win of last week. I don't know. It's also me. I've been so behind on my grad school application for the past two weeks I might be completely fuct for applying this year. I opened my essay drafts for the first time in two weeks when I got to the coffee shop and I seriously wanted to cry (hece the reason I'm blogging instead of making them better). They seemed so overwhelmingly bad after two weeks absence and I don't know what to do. I need to just quit my whinging and get back to the mindset of "Yes [I] can!"  I need the false sense of confidence that comes with wine or booze ("I'm awesome! They'd be foolish not to accpet me!") Instead I'm drinking coffee and feel caffinated and overwhelmed. Right. off to work. I guess I just needed to vent. If I do get this shit together it will be a big push, I'm not sure if I got it in me. If I don't, then I guess I'm not really ready for gradschool again, am I? sigh.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
flyvapnet
Nov. 14th, 2008 03:10 am (UTC)
Suggestions?

Breathe. Relax. Sit. No matter how much one does, there's always a bunch of crap still waiting to be done. Give it the finger! You're smart and can handle graduate school, so ... there!

=^..^=
antigrl117
Nov. 14th, 2008 04:07 am (UTC)
yes you can! (do grad school).

you are awesome and smart and a good writer. just relax, don't over analyze it and get through. when it's in the mail you can say "ahh i don't have to read that again" and then think good thoughts.

<3<3
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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