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So...umm..HELP

I shouldn't be here, I'm too busy freaking out! But as a quick update to my last update. I have to say that my initial source of depression was actually about a courtship that didn't end up working out (and was cursed from the beginning for a handful of horrible reasons, which only made it all the more overwhelmingly disappointing). Waking up in the morning in the fallout, my first thought was "it's okay, I'll be gone this time next year, starting new life.." but that thought was quickly cut short with a "oh, well not so much, actually" and the realization that I was missing so much for my applications for grad school to make that escape happen. It really got me down all weekend. Apart from making damn good tips at the theatre (money doesn't cure all wounds but it does make for a lovely band-aid) I was in a bad place..

Then Monday morning I opened my e-mail and my no. 1 school of choice (that is in Scotland and well too far for me to visit whilst I'm in London) let me know that they are going to have a representative in Seattle this weekend at a college fair at the convention center downtown. Now I'm too stubborn in my existential "there is no ultimate meaning or intelligence behind the cosmos" belief so I can't go as far as to call it a "sign" per say. What I can say is that the complete randomness of the cosmos of which I have no control has delt me a damned good hand by obscurely offering me some contact with the one school I wouldn't otherwise be able to have a dialogue with. In which case I'd be a right fool to not take advantage of it. So my downhill slope turned into an slight incline and I decided to persist with my profs and try again. And funnily enough, I got an e-mail from McDowell and he seemed confused by my frantic e-mail. He said he e-mailed me back two days after I sent my request in August. I searched my e-mail inbox and found no such e-mail. So my angst was based on a technical glitch of miscommunication. Holy Shit! I'm the most lucky of unlucky girls ever. So I got back to him and I promised him all he asked for by Friday after work.

Now my conundrum. He asked for current writing samples but much of what I have of most recent is unfinished. I have my "short"story/novella, I finished a couple years ago but at 28 pages that seems too much to ask (and it's a debbie downer at that). I have a stroy I'm writing as an homage to my neighborhood but it's not done, then I got the first chapter or my "chick lit" novel, which hasn't been read by anyone (and come to think of it has a huge "write this here when you figure out what it is" hole in it.) ahhh!

I thought about finishing my ode to cap hill story on the fly tonight (I could pull an all nighter like I'm in college again) but It would still be amiss as it would still be a rough draft. I don't know what to do. He wasn't asking for publishable material so to say, but at the same time I'm asking him to recommend me, I don't want to embarrass myself.
 aaaaakkkkkkk!

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
pandapropaganda
Oct. 15th, 2009 04:45 pm (UTC)
Re: Samples
I could use the "method" section, I was particularly proud of that bit. though I'd have to clear it w/ Raye first (since I assume this gives me your green light).
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
pandapropaganda
Oct. 15th, 2009 05:47 pm (UTC)
Re: Samples
Naw, it's funny all in good fun. I'd never knock off Raye (I wouldn't be albe to) She's short but she can take me DOWN
jadens_world
Oct. 16th, 2009 02:58 am (UTC)
GO GO GO!!!!!

I don't really know what else to say other than we're sending pro-Scottish vibes to your corner of the 'hood.

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
YOU CAN DO IT ALL NIGHT LONG!!!!!
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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