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Patterns

It's funny how certain patterns in your live don't change no matter how old you are.

All throughout middle school and high school I was that girl who, if left alone was the model student. I would sit there, hands crossed, listening attentively and doing nothing disrespectful. That is until I met my friends, who were always more ballsy than me always pushing my barriers, In middle school it was Stephanie. I showed up with her and sat next to her and she spoke her mind and was difficult. I was guilty by association becasue I was always next to her and I always laughed. I was scorned by teachers and told to avoid her influence.  In high school it was the same with Adam and all the others. In physicics I was almost thrown out of class because Adam was making me laugh too much. He didn't care about his grade in that class, but I did. But I couldn't help his charm.

In college I spent  a LOT of time being alone and alienated in my first two years. That was when I was the model student because I hadn't made any friends yet. It wasn't untill I made friends with Oni that I had a true friend at school. Then again I had an unconventional friend I could really connect with. Shortly after that in the next year Samual came into my life. When we had a class together he was the one who alwas came in stone or late. He was "the bad influence."But he was my best friend. The most wonderful person I've known in my life.

If there's any theme in my life it's that the 'bad influence' people are the simply most encouraging, inspiring and beautiful people I'll ever know.

I came to the conclusion, that I'm repeating a pattern, today. We had our last seminar about what to do next in publishing. I went with a straight head and all and Rob sat next to me. There was wine and a light lunch provided. But when Rob and I saw how uninterested our classmates were in the free wine, we decided that it would be a good idea that Rob take a bottle. A fellow from my morning group was putting on a small lecture session and I thought it would be good for me to go, but I went in with Rob and we shared the bottle of wine he took from the previous function. I seriously felt like I was in middle school again. I was being naughty. But don't look at me, because I surround myself with wild characters for a reason...don't look at me. I'm just here. If my friend is being rude, I'm sorry, I'll take the brunt of it to an extent. I'm the good one with manners, remember, I'm the good one. I can excuse my friend for being rude. I'm sorry. I've got this taken care of (and I say this while I'm already drunk)

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