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Goings on outside of politics

Though it feels like I'm sitting here writing about banal shit paying no mind to the house fire I'm sitting in, there has been stuff going on before and after the election that I feel I ought to mention for memory's sake. In particular, I've gone to a couple of shows and the Schmee's gala & auction happened. Lots to tell.

Dylan Moran
On the Saturday before the election--yes, this is how we measure time now, Before Trump Elect  and After Trump Elect-- I had tickets to see Dylan Moran at the Neptune. This was my 4th time seeing my favorite comedian this time on a very wet Seattle night. Early on in the show Moran was all "don't worry we'll get through this very quickly, I want to see what other kinds of rain you have."

The show itself was great. I mean I love him, he's my favorite. But it was one of the weirder comedy outting experiences I've had. Dylan Moran was talking about how, getting olde,r he can't have his favorite things anymore and there was a joke about having a picture of a chocolate chip cookie in his wallet. A little later, he was in this bit about being in Germany and looking for veggie soup. He was in maybe the last third of the bit, building up to the punchline and this girl just walked up to the stage and interrupted him by giving him a cookie. It totally threw him off and messed up his train of though. He almost immediately went to intermission.  How freakin' rude and attention seeking of this chick. I was pissed off because this girl I think robbed us of jokes.

There were a couple of other things that were weird about that night, completely unrelated to Moran's routine, but I don't think writing about it will do those stories justice, or I'll look like a jerk. It was all topped off though when the girl in front of us throughout the show complimented Andy and me on our laughs. Like genuinely I don't think she was being facetious or anything. So that was kinda nice...but odd.

The Descendents
So on the Thursday after the election, while Seattle was still in shock and mourning, Andy, Raye, Ryan and I had tickets to the Descendents again at the Neptune.


Andy, Raye and I got there kinda early. Despite the mood being sullen going in, I was listening to some quality punk to help release the pent up anxiety about the election. The three of us sat upstairs for the opening bands and Ryan eventually joined us. Before the Descendents went on we went down to the floor and were standing right in the center of the crowd so of course once the show started we were tight in the pit. I'm a pussy when it comes to getting pushed and squished in the pit so that shit only lasted for one song before I made my way to the side. We lost Ryan but the the three of us found a good vantage point out of the pit. The amazing thing about this show is that people were stage diving and crowd surfing. Of course that's not weird for a punk show but it is very unusal in Seattle. Venues in this city are so uptight with liability that usualy when someone first tries it security usually nips that shit right in the bud. Not at this show. Raye got too hot in the crowd and was having problems with her shoe so she went back upstairs pretty soon. I stuck around on the floor with Andy until after I heard "Suburban Home" then went up to join Raye where I could get a good view of the crowd as well as the band.
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Andy has way more stamina than me when it comes to shows and he stayed on the floor. I stuck around for the first encore but I missed the last two and in doing so totally missed my oppertunity to see my husband get up and stage dive/crowd surf. Goddamnit! Wen Raye and I reconnected with Ryan and Andy they were both drenched in sweat. It was a good night and needed escape from the sadness of the election result.

Auction Schmauction
On Nov. 12 the Schmee had our annual auction which raises funds for the year. Usually these are at the theatre but a lovely couple donated a venue, Escalia, for us which was all fancy and only a couple blocks away from the Schmee. It had a grand staircase, a chihuly, a huge bar and a sweet deck with outdoor fireplace, which would have been in more use if it weren't such a blustery night. Raye, Angie and I bartended and in addition to all the schmee folks Dani, Sam & David were there. It was kind of a mascarade theme so I got to wear my princess dress I haven't worn since Puerto Rico.
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The theatre did well in raising funds and the venue was very happy with us becasue we were very good at cleaning up after ourselves and they would be happy to have us back! Sweet. And here I was a little worried about getting folks to give money after the election but it all went well.

I saw a thing
My mum bid on a thing in the silent auction that she was hoping to get out-bid on but did not. So she ended up winning tickets to Celtic Thunder at the Paramount. She asked if she couldn't get anyone else to go with her if I would go. I don't even know what this was but I wasn't interested. However, I can't say no to my mum so I agreed to go with her on Wednesday to this ridiculous thing.

Andy looked this group up and no it's not river dance. It's like a boy band for old ladies. It's like the Irish Backstreet Boys only not really for young people nor Irish people. They sing some Irish folk song but also popular songs that are older or palatable to old people. Andy teased me relentlessly for going to this ridiculous thing. He teased me the night before with YouTube videos of these guys and the next day when I was at work, Andy was emailing me memes teasing me.






Andy even got his co-workers involved and prank called me during work hours pretending to be Celtic Thunder. To which I emailed him "SERIOUSLY?!"

The things we do for our moms. I met up with my mum at the Schmee and we went and had a light dinner and cocktails before heading over to the Paramount. I was shocked to see so many people outside teh venue. The one cool thing about these free tickets was that they were VIP so we got to bypass the crowd and go in a special side entrance and we were given access to a special VIP area with free food and a full bar.

The minute we got into the theatre I was hit by the overwhelming smell of old lady. We made our way downstairs to the VIP area. This was the best part of the evening. I could get used to going to shows this way, if only I could afford it. Like I say there was free food -- Tom Douglas, too, fancy!-- and there was a bar that not only had no line but for the same price the plebs were paying upstairs I could get a good pour in a proper glass like a grown up. I had white Russians 3 & 4 in the VIP area, getting properly liquored up to face whatever was ahead.

We took our VIP seats in the balcony, I'd say the average age of the audience was probably 60 with a few outliers of "young people" around my age. The backup band came out and the music started and there was this ridiculous voice over "Thousands of years ago..." blah blah blah "..the sound..." you think they're gooing to say "of thunder" but instead it's "of drums" and the drummer began drumming and the music swelled. Eventually the Celtic boy band came out and the crowd lost it's fucking mind. My mum just looked at each other and laughed. They sang this dramatic song.

Song #2 was a song about a boat, I know because the projections were so damn literal. They wouldn't want anyone to miss the point that it's a song about a boat. Annoyingly but also a source of hilarity for me was the fact that their art director only programmed about 30 seconds worth of film in the projections so you just see the same boat footage replayed over and over again. I tried to stifle my laughter.

Song #3 was about a horse and the projection was all these wild horses running thorugh Irish landscape and I fucking lost it. As soon as my brain went to Father Ted and "My Lovely Horse" song, I couldn't be held responsible for my laughter. They brought me to this.

Don't worry I won't go through each song but song #4 was about gypsies and, again, 30 seconds of Irish gypsies on the screen and all I could think of was the line "I fucking hate pikies" from Snatch.

I survived the first half, of course they closed with a U2 cover, perhaps only slighlty annoying those around us with my laughter but I had remained mostly respectful to the fans of the rediculous thing that I swear does NOT get performed in Ireland at all.

Back in the VIP area more white Russians and there were salted caramel chocolates. We came back for the second half, even though I thought very honestly about skipping the second half. In the second half, the guys tried to be funny but it all fell flat. To me they were way more hilarious when they were taking themselves seriously. When they were trying to be funny I was annoyed with how un-funny they were but the old ladies just ate it up.

When the show finally got out and everyone was filing out of the theatre I noticed the big black security guard, who was the only face of color in a sea of old white people. That pretty much says it all about Celtic Thunder. At least I didn't see any granny panties being thrown on the stage, which honestly I expected.

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