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Damn it!

My pinched neve back problem thinggy has returned this week. I haven't had this pain since 2006, shortly after moving in with Oni. I don't know what I did to piss my back off  and I don't know what to do to make it go away. I think I just have to wait it out, and walk as much as I can and once it feels better go back to doing those core and back/ab work i used to do. I know I fell in my exersise regimine the last two weeks as busy as I've been. I don't know if that's what did it, but walking does seem to help. Last night, after I was done volunteering at the Library I walked hom from Columbia City and finally felt almost normal by the time I got to The Hill. (Though if the 'rents ask if I walked home via Rainier at night, I did no such thing.) It sucks waiting it out though, espeically when my muscle relaxants mysteriously disapeard from my cabinet months ago. I've decided I prefer the kind of pain that comes from me being a clumsy or drunk. Two weekes ago I biffed it while intoxicated in high heels on my way home and fucked my knees and elbows pretty royaly. I had no one to blame but myself. I knew what I did and I had to live with it, be responsible and keep my wounds clean etc.This back pain shit on the other hand just came out of no where and I don't know what to do about it. I find myself bargining with my body, "what did I do? just tell me I'll make it better just stop hurting. Do I need to sleep differently? Should I try to correct my pidgion toed thing going on with my right leg? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" Honesly when I lost all that weight I though I was finished with this shite.

Enough bitching. Got a meeting with the SU Career Center about my grad school application process. I'm not entirly prepared but I hope I come out feeling better about my prospects and what I need to do.


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November 2017


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