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So John told me this morning he’s leaving taking off for Alaska on August 1st. That’s been his thing, getting out and being all self-sufficient in the wilderness. He longs to do that as I long to go to grad school in London. Granted it wouldn’t be my cup of tea but I’m kinda jealous that he’s just up and doing it, fulfilling his dream, in a month in a half. I guess partially because he’s a bit younger than me and originally I was supposed to be starting school this September if I had gotten my shit together last fall. I’m jealous, happy for him and bummed that my coffee supplier/person to confide in and shoot the shit with at work will be leaving.

Oh well, I suppose that gives me all the more reason to light a fire under my ass. Something I have been doing, btw. I worked more on my personal essay draft (for dream school) last night. It got me pretty flustered. I think I need to take some of my previous drafts and some of this draft and put them together...maybe start over. My first draft was too lofty, the next slightly better but still too loose and the one last night more specific but was boardering on coming off desperate. I decided to not limit myself to London and apply to some other schools with the program I'm looking for in the UK. You'd think this would help my odds but after the research I've done I'm not so sure. I’m torn because they’re a bit more expensive (though living expenses would probably be far less than London) but they’re also a bit more prestigious than the ones I was looking at in London, which worries me because I’m not even sure how good my odds are at the London schools. There’s nothing like applying to school to make you feel like a big old mediocrity. Oh well. I’m hell bent. More time shall be spent on this and I’m going to do more research and go back to SU and get some help from profs and such. I’m determined. If John can abandon himself in the wilderness (I’m not saying it’s a smart plan, but whatevs) then fuck it. I can go through some application forms, essays and visa requests.

Also, John’s kitty will be needing a good home. Anyone in the Seattle area in need or willing to take of a sweet a kitty cat?

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November 2017


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