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Warm up warm and fuzzies...

Felling blocked, looked for writing prompts and found this
Writing prompt:

Write a letter to yourself that you will open in six months. Include your current accomplishments and concerns, and remind yourself of one thing from today that you want to make sure "future you" does not forget. 750 words or less.

It’s a Tuesday and that brings me back to the Rosebud for happy hour. It’s been a while but I needed to ask a question about reserving the back for a friend’s birthday party and I figured that while I was at it I would sit down and write. Tuesday is my “Mir Night” the night I take to myself for writing. I’m particularly freaked out at the moment because I seem to be blocked (hence writing of this little prompt). I went online today and checked out some of the writing from the students in the Creative & Life Writing Program at Goldsmiths and I feel inferior. This is an anxiety that hasn’t surfaced in me since I got accepted into Goldsmiths. For the most part, I’ve been so proud to be accepted at all that the “am I really any good” anxiety I had while applying had become a symptom of what seemed a past, more neurotic Mir. Or so I thought.

I fear that my block is related to an overall feeling of happiness. (Damn happiness.) I have been proud of myself for getting into school and actually going through with that which has been my dream—as opposed to just talking about it (though, I admit I have been talking about it an awful lot).  I’m very excited about my future in London, though I have to admit a certain amount of trepidation when it comes to leaving my love and friends and accepting the possibility of isolation. Because of that trepidation I’m cherishing the time I have with my people in Seattle while I can. I know that certain people are really broken up about my leaving. Over all I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite as loved as I do these days. (I should have threatened really leaving long ago! Just kidding.) I’m deeply in love with someone who treats me exceedingly well and I enjoy every moment I have with. (Not to mention has put up with my bullshit since the day I met him.) All of this makes me exorbitantly happy.

In six month’s I’ll be a world away from all this happiness. Hopefully I’ll be enjoying a new happiness finally living in a big fuck-off world class city with a subway (my long time dream) and focusing on my writing full time for an entire year. What I would want to remind myself, whether I’m deliriously happy in London or struggling emotionally, is to remember this happiness. I want to keep in mind my friends, my love, my beloved city and neighborhood, and to remember how I felt in the preceding months before my departure.

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November 2017


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