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Two months & two weeks


Last week I bought my plane ticket to London. I’ll be leaving on Thursday, September 23rd. I didn’t fare too bad on the price, either, it went down to $468. Plus I got on the plane that stops in Iceland but lands in London at a reasonable hour for me to get to campus.


Also last week I gave my boss Marna the heads up. As excited as I’ve been to let out this news (sitting on it was very difficult) actually going through with it was much harder than I had imagined it. I had daydreamed of the conversation for months, usually on days where I got pissed off at work. However, Marna herself has been a very good boss to me for the past four years plus she’s been having a really rough 2010 and I knew this was going to be another big blow in her world—loosing her assistant and having to start all over again. In hindsight I can see it being bad form that I told her the week before a three day weekend. On Tuesday when I came in she had obviously spent some time in the office over the weekend cleaning and organizing the piles of stuff on her desk. Now whether or not that had anything to do with my news I don’t know for sure and I sure aint going to ask. Everything just felt off on Tuesday. While Terry was out of the room Marna and I talked about it briefly. She said she’s excited for me but it’s unfortunate for her and the center but she “is going to be a grown up about it.”  I felt guilty.  I’m sure she didn’t mean to make me feel that way.


I think that as the time draws closer it all gets more real to me. Then the more reality hits the more variant emotions than just pure excitement start to come out. I’m starting to feel guilty to inconvenience my boss. I feel guilty for causing Raye a lot of stress about finding a new roommate she’ll get on with or having to leave our awesomely-cheap-conveniently-located-Capitol Hill-apartment-with-awesome-neighbors. I feel guilty for putting Andy through a year long long distance relationship after only nine months of officially dating. I feel bad for depriving my parents of a daughter, my friends a friend and my gay boy his fag hag.


Oh man I gotta stop thinking about it or else I’m going to cry. (“Talk amongst yourselves. I’ll give you a topic. The chick pea, neither a chick, nor a pea. Discuss.”) Anyway, Andy talked me through this last night and helped me feel better and reminded me how to put things into perspective. I’m really not trying to throw myself a pity party or anything. I guess I’m just documenting the process and the phases of this transitional time before this exciting yet frightening opportunity.  


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Jul. 8th, 2010 11:36 pm (UTC)
Nope, no pity parties... only totally awesome bon voyage parties!!!!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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