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The Ballad of Raye and Rob...

It's a funny thing, life.
Five years ago--half a decade! How can that be? Five years ago, I was living alone in London, struggling with the uphill battle of meeting people and making friends. Some days it felt like the feat was impossible but gradually I got to know some folks in my course that were either curious or kind enough to invite me to hang out with them. In time I realized a genuine connection with three people in particular who, when it came my time to depart, I felt could be lifelong friends. (If you're just joining me, that's Charlotte, Rob and James.) I have long been grateful for their friendship.

I was thankful for long, thoughtful chats one on one with these mates over cider or beer at the Amersham Arms. We compared notes on cultural differences. We talked about writing, of course. We talked about life and love and what brought us to this mutual space. Rob and I connected easily becasue he was the americanophile to my anglophile.  I remember distinctly one such chat with Rob where we got to know eachother much better. He told me his backstory, from time in York, to his Undergrad at Goldsmiths to failed relationships. I told him about my former life in Seattle. When it came to telling him about my best freind and roommate I remember saying "You and Raye would get on well," then pausing to think aobut it, it hit me. "Actually, yeah you and Raye would really get on." At that time Raye already had her tickets to come visit me so it was only a matter of time and I was keen on the two of them meeting eachother.

When Raye did come to London and met my mates (except James) my prediction proved true. Ah it was a drunken, hazy night where the chronology is not necessary to piece together here, but the highlight of the night, the quote most remembered, was when I came outside to the courtyard for a cigarette--after Raye and Rob were alone and once Raye went back inside--Rob turned to me with a look of surprise  and said "Raye kissed my face!" And with the cool confidence of too many Kronenbergs I borrowed the line from A Fish Called Wanda and replied "I thought she might."

Fast-forward to Rob's first trip to the States last autumn/winter, when he finally got around to making it to the Pacific Northwest, I was not surprised that cemistry was rekindled uppon being reunited face to face with Raye. In fact, on Thanksgiving, the only time that the two weren't joined at the hip, I apparently very drunkenly, with slurred self-assurance expressed, multiple times to Rob "You're gonna marry Raye, and you're going to live here."

Well today...


It's Rob's birthday and they are off galavanting int Europe and today's birthday surprise at Legoland was Raye proposing to Rob. I knew it was going to happen today but I'm bumbed I have to wait 'till Raye gets back before I can hear the details of how it went.

Now I want to be clear that of what I've written so far and what I am to write in the remainder of this entry is in no way me taking credit for the above. With the exception of my drunken repitition on Thanksgiving, I in no way played match maker or anything. I leave shit to the fates, man. Still it is fascenating to think how cause and effect play out. How a decision one person makes can ultimately effect the lives of those around her.

When I was at Melrose Rob was very sweet and expressed like how glad he is that I came to Goldsmiths and that we becasue friends becasue it's paid off for him in so much happiness now. He's so happy with Raye and how welcomed he has been in Seattle. I guess that make me feel good. Like my "it's a wonderful life" moment. If there was no Mir, then x wouldn't have happened. My existance and my choices have put things into motion that have made people happy.

Thing is, I've wondered the same thing. I know what he feels, too. For me, Ryan is the golden link between myself and Andy. Ryan and Andy were friends (and again, roommates, coincidentally) back in Vegas before Ryan moved up to Seattle. I met Ryan through Ginger in probably 2001 or so. We got reunited and got to be better friends in 2006. I've oft wondered if Ryan ever thinks about it; if it weren't for him, Andy and I probably wouldn't have met. I wondered that at the wedding. I wondered if he ever takes pride in it or if he thinks it's a bit of a mind trip, or if it's just how it is. I even remember he and I were out on the deck at my place one time having a very similar conversation to the one Rob and I had at the pub. Ryan was telling me a couple of stories about him and his friend "Waldo" (Andy's former nickname in Vegas) and I remember Ryan saying "I think you and Waldo would get along." This was years before Andy ever moved out here. And again, he didn't match make or anyting like that. He invited Andy to meet Cathy and Sarah and they invited Andy to the party where we met. So it's strange. I get the feeling Ryan doesn't think about it or pat himself on the back for it at all but maybe that's just 'cause he comes off as such a humble guy.

But I do think about it. I do the time travel or "It's a Wonderful Life" thought experiments. I pare down cause and effect of what got me to London. Most of which was good--a dream, the support of friends, family, co-workers, professors and Andy--but there were very specific negative reasons that particularly lit a fire under my ass as well--the desintigration of The Grils(tm), romantic rejection, and the extreme depression after having been raped that made me want to have nothing to do with this place any more. When I whittle it down to that event and cause and effect I start to get confused. Should I be glad that so much good came from my resolve to escape from something so bad?  Does the eventual and ultimate good mean that I still can't wish the bad thing hadn't happened? Do I and others owe something to the bad thing?  And then I start to think that I'm proabably thinking too much into this thought experiment and move on.

I'm sorry to turn wonderful news and then not just bring it back to me bring it down to such horrible, base gloomy business. But that's what I mean I guess. It's a funny thing, life. Add to that the irony that I was the anglophile dreamily imagineing my new life in London, when instead I met my match here and Raye, not a hint of anglophile within her, came to visit me and 4 years later ending up with a bloke from across the pond. When I think about it, all these bodies, all these lives going this way and that--with dreams that work out and dreams that don't--all tripping and bumping into eachother all along the way. And ugly, terrible circomstances bringing about such happiness and love. I guess I'm getting all exitential but It's all so incestuous and so beautifully absurd.



( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 12th, 2015 04:11 am (UTC)
This is full of awesomeness! I have a few friends back East that are now friends and also a couple married because of Eric and I getting together....at least there is that positive from that union, lol.
Oct. 12th, 2015 06:05 pm (UTC)
Isn't this happy news! When I finally saw the pics Raye posted it was like midnight and I was bartending the late night for the schmee and I was outside smoking and just jumping up and down dancing with giddyness.
Oct. 13th, 2015 09:21 pm (UTC)
Such a great read love! Funny thing that life is, isn't it?
Oct. 14th, 2015 07:09 pm (UTC)
Thanks, sweetie. Isn't tho?
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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