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My MoH Speech at Raye & Rob's Wedding

 Back in the mid- to late-2000s I was in my mid- to late-20s. When I met Raye back in December of 2005, I remember liking her right away. So it was of little surprise when she and I  decided to move in together just six months later. There are so many ways that scenario could have played out. For us, it was life-changing start of a beautiful friendship.

Those five years of being roommates at Melrose delivered so many memories, catch phrases and inside jokes. Wayward towels. Petrified sausages. “Maybe it’s in the pants pile.” Snatch snaps and crotch clasps and feta fights. We knew the value of a sturdy coffee table on which to dance. We made one poor life choice after another together—you know, things like, “Hey, let's make multiple manhattans on Wednesday night…it’ll be classy!”  We learned genius life hacks like, if you want diet coke and cannot be bothered to walk to 7-11, just order a pizza and they’ll deliver a 2 liter... for free. Take that Buzzfeed.

With this girl, my fellow bridesmaids and I had the most bitchin’ birthday bashes. We could take over a room when “Mr. Brightside” was played. And we literally wrote the book on dating and relationships. No, really … we seriously co-wrote a book! And now, with Raye’s nuptials, all of The Girls™ have secured outstanding mates. I guess that means we really did know what we were talking about all along. We were pioneers in the field, and I’ll be mailing the manuscript to Oprah’s book club next week.

On a serious note, Raye has stood up for me in ways I can’t even describe here. She has always had my back. She gave Andy a thorough grilling and bit of a scare the night we first met. Most importantly she’s always been supportive…even when my dream was to move thousands of miles away. As we already knew, we were excellent traveling companions. So, long before I had even moved to London, we were already planning her trip to come visit me across the pond. Not kidding.

My first impression of Rob, when we were in school together at Goldsmiths was, “who is this guy who keeps making astute observations about Cormac McCarthy in this brawny northern accent?” It wasn’t until the last day of classes of the first term—my birthday it just so happened—that Rob joined our rag tag group of hopeful writers for drink after class. That group included Charlotte, James, Luke, and others. Soon after, Rob's presence at our favorite pubs and water houses was an almost daily occurrence. He and I shared in shenanigans, dance offs, long-form pub chats about writing, and he always took care of me and made sure I was safe. Rob’s character is a perfect mixture of silly, smart and sweet, and I found myself lucky to count him among my best of friends.

One day, over a pint at the Amersham Arms, I was telling Rob about my life and friends in Seattle, including my former roommate, Raye. “I think you and Raye would get along well,” I said. Then I paused, and thought about it some more. “Yeah, you and Raye would really get along well, actually.”

Just a month later, Raye came to visit me in London. Indeed, she and Rob hit it off right away, and I got to hear Rob's now-infamous words,  “Miranda … Raye kissed my face!”

I know it’s been a long road for both of you with all of the trials, miles and tedious bureaucracy you've had to endure to be together. But, here we all are! This is your day!

I couldn’t be happier for the both of you. I am so proud of you two for pushing through life's sometimes frustrating roadblocks to make this day happen. And, I am so honored to be, not just part of your big day, but a part of your lives.

Raye you’ve always been family to me, an honorary Staley, Sparky’s auntie Raye, and part of the Schmee family. Rob, for that special year in my life we were the “urban family” in London and I am so happy to finally call you part of the “Seattle family” now. I love you both and I wish you a long and happy marriage.

A toast to Raye and Rob! 

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