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What to do

So have I mentioned that the last three weeks of my life have kinda kicked a lot of ass. I love livin' on the Hill. I actually run into people I know on the street and shoot the shit for a while like all the time. Ging is just a hop skip and a jump away. Everything is convieniently located and all that. Perhaps been going to the bar a bit more than usual, no for sure going to the bars a bit more than I should but coming home okay. Then there's the boy. I've not mentioned it on account of not having internet but also as to not jinx whatever I've got going on. But I'll leave it at this, it's been three weeks of looking forward to seeing somene and being elated when he calls. Three weeks of not seeing myself as someone less than worthy of a compliment here and there amongst other things. However on the other hand, things are a bit more confused, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know where I stand with this person all the while I find myself likeing the person more and more. Yeah idonno. Actually all is going well on my end short of some minor neurotic mumbo jumbo my brain manages to come up with while I'm at work or at the bar, over analyzing everything he does. Right but on the other hand I'm just like, what the hell, have fun for now, go with it. The whole thing took me by surprise in the first place right, so just see where this ride goes and enjoy it while I can. But then again if my feelings keep growing stronger for this person, as they have been as of recent, it might be harder to keep such a nonchalunt attitude towards the whole situation. .

For a hadfull of reasons the last three weeks haven't even felt like my life. I mean it's with all the same people, but a lot of shits gone on. Being on the hill all the time puts me in a position in which I'm up to my ears of the drama of all those around me (and there's been a bit lately) and i don't have a home away from it all to get away from it. All the same, this business with the boy, is like nothing from my life. I was never that girl who would leave her friends at the bar to be with a boy who fancies her. It's like somewhere around October I entered into another life, or an alternate universe where what is up is now down, black is white and so on and so forth. And whereas the change has thus far treated me not too bad at all, for others this sudden change in the poles has caused for some great suffering and discomfort. I try to be supportive, or wash my hands of evertything, be there to listen to others but in the end it always in my mind comes back to my questions about how I don't know what the hell I'm doing myself.

Yeah so that's one of those annoying vague LJ entrues. Sorry about that but it would be too much to explain I'm only borrowing Oni's laptop for so long. :P



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 22nd, 2005 03:51 am (UTC)
So, pandapropaganda, you've joined mariposagerl in walking the tightrope without a net? It's exciting, isn't it? I've the luxury of being down here with the rest of the audience watching you; and I hope you'll arrive safely on the other side. (I'm the guy with the popcorn in the fifth row back, near Aisle M.)

People of the opposite glandular persuasion can be confusing, yes. It's contageous, spread by brain waves, so your friends should understand that fact of life and not over-react during those times when you fly past them on the Airship Oblivious. Take care, strive for the light!

Oct. 25th, 2005 02:11 am (UTC)
Re: Golly!
You have no idea how crazy it's been up here, Mr. Cat. It's not always such a great thing all this drama, but Ging and I are learning more about ourselvs and life from up here on this high wire. I'm still high at the moment on the wire but am terrified of falling off. To be honest
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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