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I'm at my parent's house working on job hunting. I found an entry level assistant job at a publishing co. in town so I worked extra hard on writing up a new cover letter and targeting my resume. My dad's proofing it for me and everyhting. I think I'm gonna send out resumes to other publishers in the area even if they're not hiring on the off hand chance. It can't hurt and I'm sick of this applying for jobs I'm not really interested, getting the interview, sending the thnak you letter and then never hearing back.Cross your fingers, toes and any other apendage you can manage to cross for me in hopes that I get something (and SOON, my roomateis moving out in a matter of months). I really hope something works out for me with this. I really need a break. I know i haven't been posting much so I'll laydown the abridged version of the last five months. I'm still livin' on the Hill with Oni and Tyler (this is good) but my student loan bills have started coming in (which is fucking LAME). I still work part time a mere three days a week at the place I was origionally just a work study so I'm like barely scraping by. I don't dig my job, I'm still looking but I haven't gotten anywhere. I graduated almost a year ago and aside from moving out, I've accomplished fuck all. This bothers me. It's been especially getting to me as of recent. My very best friend in the whole wide world is getting married, my roommate's got a gig when she gets out of school, and so on. Meanwhile my life feels really fucking stagnent. It's really been bothering me lately. When Ging and William started their new life together, I wished that I had the money to just pick up and move to a different city--start my own new life like everyone else seems to be. But I can't even get a fucking receptionist job in this fucking town, I can't even feed myself, let alone pick up and move to Boston or New York or something. I also don't like what this has done to me, either. I get drunk and turn into a real whiney cunt, just like I'm being right now. So to offset the whiney cuntness (not a word, I don't think) I remind myself to count my blessings. There's a few elements of silver lining to my current state of stagnence. The povery and vice diet has done wonders for slimming down that which I collected in college. I walk all over Seattle and have days off to go to the park after applying for jobs and stuff. I get to do the 'I got some booty' dance on a regular enough basis. I have the time for writing (though I don't necessarily take it nearly as much as I should.) My parents still offer to help me when I really need it. I got to go to Austrailia for fuck sakes so I really shouldn't complain. I just want a change. I want to be self sufficient, preferably doing something I'm at least moderatly intersted in (or at least don't HATE), but if not at least making enough money that I could save up and start a new life in a little bit, maybe go to grad school or something. That first little shove of my life after college hasn't happened yet and as much as that depresses the fuck out of me I have to be patient and remember that things have to go somewhere eventually.

Anyway forgive the long, rambling boring ass post. I'm making up for weeks of lost LJ time. Back to the job hunt, then a walk in the sun to the park. Enjoy the sunsine people!

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( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
twinklelkstars
May. 17th, 2006 11:04 pm (UTC)
i totally wrote a post just like this one not too long ago, so i totally know how you're feeling. but just like people keep telling me, don't worry, it will get better. i know it's easier said than done, but i have to keep reminding myself of that, because otherwise, i think i might just curl up and die. keep your chin up, mir. hearts!!
pandapropaganda
May. 17th, 2006 11:27 pm (UTC)
thanks, luv.
The sunshine helps...and there's alcohol.
;)
*hearts*
(Deleted comment)
pandapropaganda
May. 21st, 2006 10:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you.

:)
flyvapnet
May. 19th, 2006 12:16 am (UTC)
Be patient....
Mir, the medicine you suggest for youself seem right to me: Be patient! It's the patience, not the alcohol, which will stand you in good stead during this difficult time. I appreciate what you're saying, that things just don't seem to be coming together right now; but rest assured that will change.

Forgive this corny allusion, but ages ago there was a song titled "Wedding Bells Are Breaking Up That Old Gang Of Mine." It's one of life's realities, so you have to find the means by which to cope; and that usually involves looking within and consciously diverting that part of your heart which relied upon this or that friend to something else, usually an activity or long-term plan.

I'm betting you've long since absorbed all this kind of trite advice and are even now formulating some plan of action. Make a maximum effort to avoid slipping back into a past comfort zone, hoping some scenario which is fading away will be resurrected. It won't. But you will!

=^..^=
pandapropaganda
May. 21st, 2006 10:40 pm (UTC)
Re: Be patient....
No plan of action, really short of just shutting up about it and putting on a smile.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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